He only met two of my friends once. My friends and family come first so this was a little sign that something was off. And it's not like I wouldn't invite him to things, he just had other stuff going on all the time or liked being by himself. I'm all for hanging by myself and like my me-time but there is a point when you want to be in that person's life and do things with them - I didn't really see that with him.
Another thing wrong with our relationship is that he never talked about us or how he felt about me or what he thought about how I looked. I never got a "you look nice" or a "you're beautiful." I also didn't get any recognition on Valentine's Day - I had to remind him to set up a dinner and because it was so late we had to go the night before! I'm not a needy woman and do not need to hear nice things ALL the time, but girls like to hear that every once in a while! If you're a man and reading this - remember to do these things!
The last 2 weeks we were dating sucked big time. He started texting a lot less, cancelling plans every once in a while and seemed to want to spend more time by himself. Now, I am a very experienced dater so I knew these signs immediately. I knew what was happening - our relationship was ending. But what bothered me the most was that he would ignore me for a day, and then the next day he would text me all day (him initiating) and act like nothing was wrong! Seriously, just give it to me straight dude.
Finally after cancelling plans twice, we had plans for Sunday. He suggested a movie..um really? We need to talk first. So I suggested lunch first and then the movie. On the way to lunch in the car he said to me that he wanted to talk about our relationship..yea exactly dude, that's why I suggested lunch first but ok, let's let you think it's your idea.
So we get in, order our food and the server leaves. I dove right in and asked what was going on, and what was up with the "radio silence." He told me that he was sorry but he just didn't think he wanted to settle down right now and didn't want anything serious. He said that it seemed that's what I am looking for. I agreed that it was and is. I also told him that I was expecting to hear something like this because of his "weird-ness" and that it was a rough week. He left me in limbo for a week and a half and that wasn't fun. He apologized again. He then said "I really do like hanging out with you and doing things, so if you want to be casual..." I laughed and said "I'm a girl, I can't to casual."
Ok really?! You're not looking for anything serious or to settle down? You're 37, soon to be 38 and you don't want to be in a serious relationship? I call bull shit on that one! He could have just told me he wasn't interested anymore, because that was probably the truth. I just held that in and let him do it his way. And that was it. Then we went to the movie. I know it sounds weird but it was fine after that and I really wanted to see the movie! When he dropped me off, I told him good luck and sorry it didn't work out.
Weird thing is he continued to text me the next week randomly each day. I finally didn't return one of his texts and he stopped.
I like to try and take one thing from each relationship that I've learned for the future. I think from this one, is that I need to trust my gut instincts and when there are weird signs and things I'm missing in a relationship that I'd like to have then it's just not right.
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